Bad moods tend to catch me unaware! I got an email this afternoon from a friend who expressed his disappointment that i had forgotten his birthday, or rather, that an entire group of us had kinda forgotten about his special day. I felt really bad initially, but with the airconditioner in office not working, the guilt turned quickly into hurt, and before i knew it, i was furious and disappointed.
Whilst i apologised to my friend, and prayed a prayer of blessing for his birthday and the year ahead, my alter-ego tookover. Thoughts flew through my mind, and i started justifying to myself why it was an immature accusation.
"Why get so worked up over a small issue?"you ask?? I guess being a sensitive person by nature, i took it quite personally - hence this became a blog-worthy post! (So, friend, before you get upset with me for blogging about this, let me clarify, and plead with you to read the blogpost to the end. God, in His grace, turned this into a lesson for me! and hopefully for you too. =) )
Through out my life, those close to me would testify that i am one person who makes an effort to remember all my family and friends' birthdates. Call it weird, but i think i've quite a knack for remembering numbers and dates. I used to make personalised greeting cards and gift-wrapping presents during my free-er days of school and Uni. But now with work and the busyness of life, i still try to make time for an sms, a call or an e-card.
I guess why i felt deeply hurt and disappointed was because both YY and I have invested a lot of our life, our time, our money, and often sharing a meal and our home with the young people in our midst, my friend included. We are not filthy rich, but whatever little that we have, we gladly share. Not that we are asking for thank-yous or favours in return, but our deepest hope and desire is that those who have been blessed will be grateful, be inspired, and pass on the blessing to others whenever they have the opportunity.
Perhaps it is a generation gap. For me, i have always been taught me to be grateful and thankful for what i have been given, to find every opportunity to pass on the blessing to others. I note with dismay that this current generation is more self-centred and expect blessings rather than seek opportunities to bless.
Anyway, as i poured my disappointment to God on my drive back home, it dawned on me that I too have been a forgetful, thankless and spoilt brat in my walk with God. Every day and every moment, God pours His abundance of love and blessings into my life, but the single unanswered prayer or a thorny situation encountered, and I throw my tantrum, and accuse God of being unfair, distant and unloving. I guess God allowed me to see and feel the pain of a thankless effort to remind me to be a more thankful and grateful child.
May each one of us learn to appreciate the blessings that God has poured on us, and also to be thankful to the people who invest and share their lives with us. May we pass on the blessings at every opportunity.
