Never in my life had I waited for so long for anyone. Not for even YY (thank God!). It was almost like in the scene of some Korean drama, except that this time it was a girl waiting for another girl..
With my tummy rumbling and my head heavy, the one and a half hours wait at the LRT station felt somewhat like eternity.
Before I start making this sister feel worse than she already does, I would like to say that God turned it out for something good. The wait was full of lessons that I guess God wanted to teach me.
For one, it showed me my flaws clearly. (i) My impatience. While I was reading a godly book (ironically it was called Driven by Eternity), I was tapping my fingers and toes impatiently as if to hurry her up. (ii) My fear of the unknown. I didn’t like the idea of not knowing where she was and what exact time she was arriving. “I am reaching soon” wasn’t good enough. (iii) My easily irritability. In my mind I was giving her a lecture about learning to be punctual, keeping deadlines, being unselfish, and thinking about others, etc, etc.
Then suddenly while all these emotions were rising up inside of me, a still small voice said “You call this sacrifice? You call this waiting??”
There in the car, I learnt about sacrifice. God’s sacrifice. Sacrifice means giving up, forgoing, forfeiting, letting go, surrendering something. God gave up His One and Only Son. Our heavenly Father surrendered His Son to save us. Jesus had to forgo heaven and all His power and glory. Jesus forfeited His all, His life and went to hell for our sakes. Now THAT is sacrifice.
God has been waiting.. and waiting.. and waiting.. not passively, but actively seeking.. for the lost to know Him and experience His love and grace.
God has been waiting.. and waiting.. for the backslidden to come back into His embrace.
God has been waiting.. and waiting.. delaying His judgments and His eternal punishments. That NONE may perish. Now THAT is waiting.
I couldn’t never measure up. After one and a half hours, I had to call to say I was way too tired and hungry to wait any longer. I left feeling bad, she felt bad too.. but we both learnt some powerful lessons. (*I asked her to read mine in this blog)
When i reached home, I was reflecting on it over my maggi noodles, and I realize that I learnt far more from my wait than I would had I been at home in the comfort of my sofa. I guess God knew better. He made the lessons in the book come alive.
Waiting has now taken a new meaning for me.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
The LONG WAIT
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
BOLD FAiTH (cont'd)
BOLD FAiTH (part V) – July 2007
Bold Faith. A deliberate decision, a conscious choice to trust in God and live for Him.
I was poring all over scripture to find a person of courage as an example for our Bible study. i didn't just find ONE, i found so many. It made me realize that courage was a character inherent in so many biblical heroes of faith. Courage isn't evident at the absence of fear. Courage is all about taking risks and steps, overcoming fears, the adveristies and the ordinary.
Courage, or boldness, in itself is not sufficient; coupled with faith, these ordinary men & women became key instruments mightily used by God to save lives and inspire us today.
I realised that these men and women weren't just sunday school bible stories. They were and still are heroes; role models - paving the way to remind us that in our "ordinary" lives today, we too have an opportunity be courageous and faithful.
Noah – had the courage to obey God at a time when the world had never seen a disaster of that intensity; had the courage to build an ark to precision; had the courage to obey in looking for and bringing in animals of every kind. BOLD FAiTH.
Amram & Jochebed – listed in the hall of faith, because they had courage to hide their son at a time when all males were killed by the Pharaoh. As a result of their courage, Moses is mightily used by God for the redemption of the Jews from Egypt. BOLD FAiTH.
Hebrew midwives - had the courage to save the jewish male babies from being killed by the Egyptians. Had the courage to disobey the orders of the most powerful ruler at that time - the Pharaoh. BOLD FAiTH.
Moses – an adopted prince, a murderer, a shepherd, a stutterer, overcame his fear of speaking, to go down history as a friend of God, and the greatest leader of all time. BOLD FAiTH.
Joshua – had the courage to take over the leadership helm from Moses, the greatest leader of all time. To no other leader has the assurance from God, “Be strong, and of good courage!” appeared so many times. It took courage to lead this pack of forgetful and stubborn people. It took courage to obey God and lead the people through a place he had never been before. It took courage to lead them into the promised land. BOLD FAiTH.
Rahab – This prostitute, who did not know God had the courage to risk her life for the safety of a bunch of Jewish spies. Had courage and faith to believe the hear-says that this Jewish God parted the Red Sea to save them from Pharaoh in Egypt. Had the courage to request for her life and her family’s to be spared when (not if) the Jewish came back to conquer Jericho. BOLD FAiTH. She goes down the hall of faith appearing in the lineage of Jesus. BOLD FAiTH.
Esther – had the courage to speak up to the King to save her people from genocide. Had the courage to expose the evil schemes of Haman. BOLD FAiTH.
Daniel – a captive in a foreign land, with a foreign name and teachings, had the courage to stand up and speak up for his beliefs and his faith. Even to the point of death and the lion’s mouth. God granted him favour and a spirit of excellence. He became the king’s 2nd man- for 3 kings. BOLD FAiTH.
Daniel’s 3 friends - Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego – had the courage to stand up for their faith by not bowing to the golden image of the king; even at the risk of death in a fiery furnace. BOLD FAiTH.
Peter – had the courage to leave everything behind to follow Jesus. Had the courage to ask Jesus to allow him to walk on water. Upon his restoration by Jesus – had the courage to be used mightily by God even unto death. BOLD FAiTH.
Paul – a Pharisee, a persecutor of churches. Upon the encounter with Christ, had the courage to stand up and speak up for the Christ he now knew. Had the courage to teach and preach the gospel of Christ in spite of persecution. BOLD FAiTH.
And so so many more. Their bold faith and courage simply inspires. Men and women who are completely and utterly sold out for God. Surrendering their lives to be used in the hands of a mighty God for His purpose. Ordinary folks in the hands of an extraordinary God did extraordinary things to the glory of God.
Bold Faith. A deliberate decision, a conscious choice to trust in God and live for Him.
I was poring all over scripture to find a person of courage as an example for our Bible study. i didn't just find ONE, i found so many. It made me realize that courage was a character inherent in so many biblical heroes of faith. Courage isn't evident at the absence of fear. Courage is all about taking risks and steps, overcoming fears, the adveristies and the ordinary.
Courage, or boldness, in itself is not sufficient; coupled with faith, these ordinary men & women became key instruments mightily used by God to save lives and inspire us today.
I realised that these men and women weren't just sunday school bible stories. They were and still are heroes; role models - paving the way to remind us that in our "ordinary" lives today, we too have an opportunity be courageous and faithful.
Noah – had the courage to obey God at a time when the world had never seen a disaster of that intensity; had the courage to build an ark to precision; had the courage to obey in looking for and bringing in animals of every kind. BOLD FAiTH.
Amram & Jochebed – listed in the hall of faith, because they had courage to hide their son at a time when all males were killed by the Pharaoh. As a result of their courage, Moses is mightily used by God for the redemption of the Jews from Egypt. BOLD FAiTH.
Hebrew midwives - had the courage to save the jewish male babies from being killed by the Egyptians. Had the courage to disobey the orders of the most powerful ruler at that time - the Pharaoh. BOLD FAiTH.
Moses – an adopted prince, a murderer, a shepherd, a stutterer, overcame his fear of speaking, to go down history as a friend of God, and the greatest leader of all time. BOLD FAiTH.
Joshua – had the courage to take over the leadership helm from Moses, the greatest leader of all time. To no other leader has the assurance from God, “Be strong, and of good courage!” appeared so many times. It took courage to lead this pack of forgetful and stubborn people. It took courage to obey God and lead the people through a place he had never been before. It took courage to lead them into the promised land. BOLD FAiTH.
Rahab – This prostitute, who did not know God had the courage to risk her life for the safety of a bunch of Jewish spies. Had courage and faith to believe the hear-says that this Jewish God parted the Red Sea to save them from Pharaoh in Egypt. Had the courage to request for her life and her family’s to be spared when (not if) the Jewish came back to conquer Jericho. BOLD FAiTH. She goes down the hall of faith appearing in the lineage of Jesus. BOLD FAiTH.
Esther – had the courage to speak up to the King to save her people from genocide. Had the courage to expose the evil schemes of Haman. BOLD FAiTH.
Daniel – a captive in a foreign land, with a foreign name and teachings, had the courage to stand up and speak up for his beliefs and his faith. Even to the point of death and the lion’s mouth. God granted him favour and a spirit of excellence. He became the king’s 2nd man- for 3 kings. BOLD FAiTH.
Daniel’s 3 friends - Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego – had the courage to stand up for their faith by not bowing to the golden image of the king; even at the risk of death in a fiery furnace. BOLD FAiTH.
Peter – had the courage to leave everything behind to follow Jesus. Had the courage to ask Jesus to allow him to walk on water. Upon his restoration by Jesus – had the courage to be used mightily by God even unto death. BOLD FAiTH.
Paul – a Pharisee, a persecutor of churches. Upon the encounter with Christ, had the courage to stand up and speak up for the Christ he now knew. Had the courage to teach and preach the gospel of Christ in spite of persecution. BOLD FAiTH.
And so so many more. Their bold faith and courage simply inspires. Men and women who are completely and utterly sold out for God. Surrendering their lives to be used in the hands of a mighty God for His purpose. Ordinary folks in the hands of an extraordinary God did extraordinary things to the glory of God.
Monday, July 16, 2007
BOLD FAiTH?!
I was leading a Bible study discussion on courage last Friday. Whilst preparing for it, I was reminded of an on-going journal entry that I had been writing for the past 3 years on a rather similar topic – BOLD FAiTH. This is a summary of the entries and thoughts. I was hoping to see a deepening of faith and spiritual maturity. More evident instead is God’s amazing grace..
BOLD FAiTH (June 2004)
“BOLD FAiTH”... “BOLD FAiTH”… these two words kept ringing in my mind.
Whilst in Kota Bharu for a short sales stint, in a land of pious Muslims and staunch idol worshippers, where superstitions beliefs are prevalent, where would my faith stand? How BOLD would I be? Without realising it, I’d become conscious of revealing my Christian faith – quietly keeping my faith undercover. My cross tucked safely inside my shirt. Even mealtime prayers had become an open-eyed in-the-heart-mumble. “Afraid that the flies may find its way to my food”, was my excuse.
An encounter with a Muslim fanatic in K. Terengganu threw me somewhat off-board. Shocked by his deep knowledge of the bible and embarrassed by the lack of mine, I was disappointed that my faith did not stand as boldly as it should.
BOLD FAiTH – these two words rang loudly in my head again. Why these two words? Why BOLD? Why FAiTH? Can’t each go without the other?
BOLD – evidence of strength, courage, fearlessness, striking, emphasized, noticeable.
FAiTH – a trust, a belief, something we hope for which we do not yet see
Boldness without faith is like a strong and mighty ship without a rudder, bravery without purpose, courage without direction
While,
Faith without boldness is like an unplugged electrical appliance or a Porsche kept locked in a garage, full of potential but not in use.
And so, BOLD FAiTH works hand in hand to give us both the purpose and the drive to which we were born for.
I’ve been asking myself of late where does BOLD FAiTH stand in a pagan land? A relentless pursuit to do what is right, what is good, honoring God in every circumstance, glorifying Him.
BOLD FAiTH does not mean an aimless head-on battle with others, or what some call “plain Gung-ho” but rather a conscious, deliberate trust in the Lord.
BOLD FAiTH symbolises a shining beacon, an anchored ship and a firmly founded building.
******
BOLD FAiTH (Part II) – Continued in Aug 2005
As I re-read this article I wrote almost a year back, i was reminded me of an incident late last year, which triggered back feelings of guilt. “BOLD FAiTH?! It’s just a silly ideal, a childish fantasy, and an unrealistic aspiration.”
“Is BOLD FAiTH in today’s context in essence, really a fantasy and aspiration? Is it only a dream but never a possibility?” I ask myself again and again.
When I pledged myself to be married to Yong Yi, knowing full well his parents were non-Christians, I never thought I’d live to see the day that I would bow to idols. No, not me. I was the kind who gets inspired simply by reading the stories of Christian martyrs, those who live and die for their faith. My heroes in the Bible were people like Joseph and Daniel – people who stood strongly for their faith, in spite of all the adverse circumstances. I was the kind of person to challenge people to stand up boldly for their faith at all costs. Oh, I felt just like the apostle Peter, who at one moment told Jesus he would go anywhere his master went and within the next 48 hours denied Christ thrice.
Late 2004, during our Chinese wedding tea ceremony, we were requested to bow to “ti kong” or the god of heaven and also to his late grandmother as a sign of respect. I complied reluctantly. But deep inside, I felt like I had betrayed God and everything I had stood for. I felt like a failure, a coward and a hypocrite.
Peter would have understood perfectly what I felt – the guilt, the disappointment.
Then, I recalled vividly the message about the restoration of Peter by the Lord Jesus. Thrice the Lord asked him, “DO you love me?” Together with Peter, my heart resonated a “Yes, Lord, You know I do!” “Feed my lambs.” “Feed my sheep.” “Tend my sheep.” He answers. I took it by faith that as the Lord restored Peter, He’d stretched His forgiving arms to me as well.
I’ve come to realize that it is not by my own strength nor my own ability that I can live with BOLD FAiTH, but it’s God’s grace that compels me. Through experience, I have come to appreciate better what boundless and amazing grace the Lord pours on me.
BOLD FAiTH (part III) – September 2006
8 of us girls and guys in church had embarked on a song-writing project. YY pressured me into completing my song – which was inspired just before I went for a job interview – sometime in July 06. I had been praying to God for a new job for at least 8 months. But God had never seemed more silent than this. I was getting frustrated, anxious and disappointed at the idea of it all. Yet something in me just kept telling God – You know what’s best.
During the journey to the interview, suddenly a song sparked in my head, and I started singing a whole paragraph. I had to stop the car, just to type the song into my handphone, and prayed I would not forget it. Within two weeks, I got the job, I was elated!
The 1st song I wrote? It was entitled – I NEED YOU, LORD. It is a reflection of a heart’s deepest cry to God that in everything, at every moment, in every situation – I NEED HIM. Desperately.
BOLD FAiTH (part IV) – May 2007
Things at work were tough. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. An uncle who knew I was unhappy said, “Sharon, this is not your home, you’re not meant to feel comfortable there. We were created for heaven. Till then, we will all be misfits here.”
But despite that, I was so miserable, I had begged YY to allow me to quit even without a job in hand. I guess I learnt BOLD FAiTH through him. He asked me if I was certain that that was what God really wanted, and challenged me to wait – for just 2 weeks. If within the next two weeks God doesn’t give me another job, then I can go ahead and quit.
Guess what? God answered with a job within 2 weeks.
Prior to leaving, I still questioned why God brought me there only to feel a sense of regret. I felt like I had disappointed God; as if I had wasted the past 9 months of my life. But to my surprise, at my farewell, God affirmed me through the various colleagues telling me that I had made a difference in their life. I certainly hope so.
BOLD FAiTH? I'm still work-in-progress.
BOLD FAiTH (June 2004)
“BOLD FAiTH”... “BOLD FAiTH”… these two words kept ringing in my mind.
Whilst in Kota Bharu for a short sales stint, in a land of pious Muslims and staunch idol worshippers, where superstitions beliefs are prevalent, where would my faith stand? How BOLD would I be? Without realising it, I’d become conscious of revealing my Christian faith – quietly keeping my faith undercover. My cross tucked safely inside my shirt. Even mealtime prayers had become an open-eyed in-the-heart-mumble. “Afraid that the flies may find its way to my food”, was my excuse.
An encounter with a Muslim fanatic in K. Terengganu threw me somewhat off-board. Shocked by his deep knowledge of the bible and embarrassed by the lack of mine, I was disappointed that my faith did not stand as boldly as it should.
BOLD FAiTH – these two words rang loudly in my head again. Why these two words? Why BOLD? Why FAiTH? Can’t each go without the other?
BOLD – evidence of strength, courage, fearlessness, striking, emphasized, noticeable.
FAiTH – a trust, a belief, something we hope for which we do not yet see
Boldness without faith is like a strong and mighty ship without a rudder, bravery without purpose, courage without direction
While,
Faith without boldness is like an unplugged electrical appliance or a Porsche kept locked in a garage, full of potential but not in use.
And so, BOLD FAiTH works hand in hand to give us both the purpose and the drive to which we were born for.
I’ve been asking myself of late where does BOLD FAiTH stand in a pagan land? A relentless pursuit to do what is right, what is good, honoring God in every circumstance, glorifying Him.
BOLD FAiTH does not mean an aimless head-on battle with others, or what some call “plain Gung-ho” but rather a conscious, deliberate trust in the Lord.
BOLD FAiTH symbolises a shining beacon, an anchored ship and a firmly founded building.
******
BOLD FAiTH (Part II) – Continued in Aug 2005
As I re-read this article I wrote almost a year back, i was reminded me of an incident late last year, which triggered back feelings of guilt. “BOLD FAiTH?! It’s just a silly ideal, a childish fantasy, and an unrealistic aspiration.”
“Is BOLD FAiTH in today’s context in essence, really a fantasy and aspiration? Is it only a dream but never a possibility?” I ask myself again and again.
When I pledged myself to be married to Yong Yi, knowing full well his parents were non-Christians, I never thought I’d live to see the day that I would bow to idols. No, not me. I was the kind who gets inspired simply by reading the stories of Christian martyrs, those who live and die for their faith. My heroes in the Bible were people like Joseph and Daniel – people who stood strongly for their faith, in spite of all the adverse circumstances. I was the kind of person to challenge people to stand up boldly for their faith at all costs. Oh, I felt just like the apostle Peter, who at one moment told Jesus he would go anywhere his master went and within the next 48 hours denied Christ thrice.
Late 2004, during our Chinese wedding tea ceremony, we were requested to bow to “ti kong” or the god of heaven and also to his late grandmother as a sign of respect. I complied reluctantly. But deep inside, I felt like I had betrayed God and everything I had stood for. I felt like a failure, a coward and a hypocrite.
Peter would have understood perfectly what I felt – the guilt, the disappointment.
Then, I recalled vividly the message about the restoration of Peter by the Lord Jesus. Thrice the Lord asked him, “DO you love me?” Together with Peter, my heart resonated a “Yes, Lord, You know I do!” “Feed my lambs.” “Feed my sheep.” “Tend my sheep.” He answers. I took it by faith that as the Lord restored Peter, He’d stretched His forgiving arms to me as well.
I’ve come to realize that it is not by my own strength nor my own ability that I can live with BOLD FAiTH, but it’s God’s grace that compels me. Through experience, I have come to appreciate better what boundless and amazing grace the Lord pours on me.
BOLD FAiTH (part III) – September 2006
8 of us girls and guys in church had embarked on a song-writing project. YY pressured me into completing my song – which was inspired just before I went for a job interview – sometime in July 06. I had been praying to God for a new job for at least 8 months. But God had never seemed more silent than this. I was getting frustrated, anxious and disappointed at the idea of it all. Yet something in me just kept telling God – You know what’s best.
During the journey to the interview, suddenly a song sparked in my head, and I started singing a whole paragraph. I had to stop the car, just to type the song into my handphone, and prayed I would not forget it. Within two weeks, I got the job, I was elated!
The 1st song I wrote? It was entitled – I NEED YOU, LORD. It is a reflection of a heart’s deepest cry to God that in everything, at every moment, in every situation – I NEED HIM. Desperately.
BOLD FAiTH (part IV) – May 2007
Things at work were tough. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. An uncle who knew I was unhappy said, “Sharon, this is not your home, you’re not meant to feel comfortable there. We were created for heaven. Till then, we will all be misfits here.”
But despite that, I was so miserable, I had begged YY to allow me to quit even without a job in hand. I guess I learnt BOLD FAiTH through him. He asked me if I was certain that that was what God really wanted, and challenged me to wait – for just 2 weeks. If within the next two weeks God doesn’t give me another job, then I can go ahead and quit.
Guess what? God answered with a job within 2 weeks.
Prior to leaving, I still questioned why God brought me there only to feel a sense of regret. I felt like I had disappointed God; as if I had wasted the past 9 months of my life. But to my surprise, at my farewell, God affirmed me through the various colleagues telling me that I had made a difference in their life. I certainly hope so.
BOLD FAiTH? I'm still work-in-progress.
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